The Love of God, Reflections from March

Here are some of my thoughts from way back in mid March of this spring. For whatever reason I didn't make them public at the time. Soon I'll post some reflections from the summer, but for now....

Personal Musing: The Love of God

These last few weeks I've been thinking a lot about God's love for me, and God's love for everyone.

The Love of God is greater far 

than tongue or pen can ever tell

It goes beyond the highest star

and reaches to the lowest hell

These words come from one of my favorite hymns and are a great reminder of God's unfathomable love for us. 

Could we with ink the ocean fill

and were the skies of parchment made

were every stalk on earth

and everyone a scribe by trade

to write the love of God above

would drain the ocean dry

nor could the scroll contain the whole

though stretched from sky to sky.

I know that if I were to try and write about all the ways I've seen and felt God's love, both in my life and in the lives of those around me, I would surely have a book that never ends. 

Most recently I've been amazed at how God's love works on such a personal level. A couple of weeks ago I attended a Christian Camping Conference in Indiana. It'd been a busy couple of weeks and there were things I needed to do in the office, but I had already committed to going so I went with an anxious heart. 

In the midst of the week the speaker gave a talk about the deep longings of our heart. As the message began I heard God speak. It was the second time that I've felt God communicate to me so directly. What left me in tears for the rest of the night was not what God had said so much as that the supreme God and creator of the universe had not forgotten me. Even though my faith life was in a bit of a ditch, and I was doing fine with God at the edge of my life, God had not forgotten me. 

We all hear God and know God's love in different ways, but it takes time to know and understand that love. Its like making a new friend. It takes time to understand how to be with each other, how to recognize their voice, or learn their hand writing. I am still learning, and hopefully will continue learning for the rest of my life. 

Directly right after that conference I was signed up to attend the Men's Way of Christ weekend (www.WayofChrist.net), but the timing for me was very uncomfortable. I was just returning from the conference in Indiana were I was tired from late nights of fellowshipping. I was spiritually full from powerful speakers and worship, emotionally raw from a fresh encounter with God, and overall ready to spend a weekend with limited people time. Not to mention the stress of the work on my desk waiting for me when I got back. Instead I went to the Way of Christ weekend with barely 24hrs of recovery time, with a large chunk of that spent getting caught up on half a week's work. 

But the timing was all part of God's plan. Through that weekend my exhaustion was met with new friendships and the face of Christ in the other men there that weekend. I found fresh hope in the Godly men I got to know over the weekend. My anxiety was consoled by the reminder that God is at work, and the way God works is not always what will be most comfortable to us. But God's work is part of God's love. The timing of both events, while initially annoying for me, was actually part of a bigger plan, through which I was reminded of how much God loves me. 

In what ways is God trying to show you his love? Maybe it's through the blessings you've received, family, friends, community. Maybe it's in answered prayers, or peace in times of chaos. Maybe God is showing you love by withholding something from you, something that you think you want, but God knows you are not ready for. Or maybe you feel lost and separated from God's love, like Mother Teresa or St John of the Cross. 

I cannot profess to know everything about God's love, but I do know that it's more powerful than we can imagine, closer than we can comprehend, and open to all who reach for it. 

Keep Listening and Searching. 

Menno Haven Musing: Winter Retreats... and Spring comes

Sometimes it can be hard to really appreciate how far we've come.
One year ago I was across the world, living in a different culture, completely unaware of where God was taking me after graduation. Since then I've biked halfway across the US, preached enough sermons that I've lost count, met more new people than I can recall, and embarked on the new journey of camping ministry. What an adventure it's been!

This last month I had the privilege of organizing my first 2 programs, the High School and Jr High Winter Retreats. Each had it's own set of challenges, learning curves, and rewards.
For High School we almost maxed out our sleeping capacity with 130 youths and sponsors. I saw God at work in 2 major ways. The first was in the amazing way the youth interacted across church boundaries. Everyone seemed to mix well and meet new friends from other churches transcending denominations, ethnicities, cultures, and sometimes languages. It was a hint of the amazing gathering that is coming at the final return of our Savior.

The second way that I was touched was in the unexpected work of the Holy Spirit throughout the weekend. I have many examples, but the one that impacted me the deepest was when our speaker, Jeff Ressler asked the youth groups Saturday night to come up with something to offer during worship Sunday morning. They were instructed to discern what they felt led to bring for the service. The groups split up, and some smaller youth groups combined to make larger ones. Soon groups called me over to say what they felt led to offer. (I was in charge of organizing what the groups were bringing.) Some groups felt led to sing a song, others wanted to do a skit, dramatic scripture reading, a call to worship, offertory, communion. Every element of a traditional worship story was present in some form, and all the scriptures and songs fit thematically together! Only the Spirit of God could have worked so beautifully as to call each group of High Schoolers to offer independently all the parts of a full worship gathering. It gave me goosebumps and I was almost on the edge of tears at how beautiful and amazing God is!


The Jr High Winter Retreat was a bit smaller, but it worked out well with the energy of the age group and the size of our indoor space for games. Mariah Martin, first year student at Anabaptist Mennonite Biblical Seminary, really connected with the youth and really opened them up to the realization of their identity in God and God's love for them.
I am heavily indebted to Hannah, Ryan, and the other Menno Haven staff for making the Jr High Retreat run so smoothly. In my confidence from high school weekend I left some things hanging loose, which forced me to run around with a lot of last minute preparations. Without the help of great volunteers it would have been a much more chaotic weekend. A huge thank you to everyone!

Now the retreats are over and summer camp is on the horizon. Summer Staff is on my mind. (Apply online! http://www.mennohaven.com/summer-staff1.html ) The days are getting longer and warmer (except for the occasional cold snap), Lent has begun. Spring will come soon. This is the time of muddy and windy days, of anticipating warmth and new life. Let's not forget the winter and what we have learned. In the solitude of dark winter evenings, the fun of snow day shenanigans, or the gathering of friends and family we each have been formed by some experience or memory. What have you learned this winter? How has God been present in your life? Though we look forward to the coming Spring, let's remember the journey that has gotten us to this point. It's amazing how far we've come.  

Menno Haven Musing: Climbing Wall Faith (Part 2)

In my last post I reflected on some young climbers we had recently that were with a family gathering at Menno Haven, and talked about the joy of climbing without destination.

I want to return again to those climbers, because something else really struck me as I belayed them (aside from one or two swinging out and hitting me ;) ).

When I was facilitating the younger kids, around that 5 year old range, they would climb up the wall a ways, and then say they were ready to come down. Normal rock climbing safety protocol is to alert the person on the ground that you are letting go, and then lean back so you are facing the wall and can kick yourself out as you repel down. This keeps your head safer.

These little guys didn’t quite have that part mastered, but everyone was wearing helmets so it was ok. They would let go in such a way that they would spin around and face out.

I remember one little boy who wouldn’t let go, and I could see the anxiety across his face as he contemplated the drop below him. Suddenly he had to trust the rope, the harness, and me(!) that I could get him safely to the ground. Letting go was hard! First he let go of one rock, then reluctantly the other. After he let go and realized that everything was fine and he wasn’t going to fall, he got a huge grin on his face. He could look out over everything and just enjoy the ride down. That little guy came back a couple more times, and I’m sure he just climbed for the fun of being lowered back down. After that first time, he had no trouble letting go and trusting the rope.

Trusting can be hard. Especially in things that are unseen. From way up high with your back to the person holding the rope it can be hard to tell if everything will be ok. We often have similar struggles of letting go and trusting God. We can’t always see if the rope is held. We are not really sure how high we’ve climbed, or how far it is back down. But time and again we learn that God’s got the rope.

But knowing that we can trust God and actually letting go of the rocks we are clinging to are two completely different things. The climber knows that someone below has the ropes, but that doesn’t always make it easier to let go! But the Bible is consistent, letting go and trusting is the right way to go.

Ps 25 1-2b To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

O my God, in you I trust; 

do not let me be put to shame.

Ps 40: 4 Happy are those who make
    the Lord their trust,
who do not turn to the proud,
    to those who go astray after false gods.

Isaiah 12: 2 Surely God is my salvation;
    I will trust, and will not be afraid,
for the Lord God^[a] is my strength and my might;
    he has become my salvation.

Isaiah 26: 4 Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord God you have an everlasting rock.

1 Peter 1: 21 Through him (Jesus) you have come to trust in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are set on God.

(and many many more!)

The verse that I have on my computer right now comes from Jeremiah 17. Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is in the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending its roots out by the stream. It does not fear heat, and its leaves shall stay green. In the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit.

Those are some pretty amazing promises for “just” trusting! Fearless, alive, worry free, and fruitful. But how easy it can be to hang on to the climbing wall! Holding our family close, and our guns closer, staying safe in our addictions and patterns of thought, surrounding ourselves with money and possessions, material security.

When you think about it though, what makes it safe for the climbers to climb the wall? Is it the rocks they hold onto, the strength in their arms? No, what makes climbing the wall safe and fun is knowing that we have a strong rope, and an able person holding the rope.

Maybe in this New Year we should look down from the high place we’ve positioned ourselves to see our God holding our rope, ready to lower us down whenever we are ready to stop relying on our own strength. And as we are lowered down and become closer to God we will realize that it’s more fun coming back down than it was going up.